wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
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