I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
