I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
