So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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