i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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