My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
