Your tits are I can't wait for
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just crazy horny about you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize