Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he thought i was a dude.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
