better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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