It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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