you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
