just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
