PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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