She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
