2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
