Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
