You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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