Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
