Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
