Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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