I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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