You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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