you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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