I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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