I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
