Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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