yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
