like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
We had sex on a dog bed..
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
