Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
