we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
