New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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