So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
