Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
