I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
