watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
