I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Every concussion has its silver lining
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
