I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
