Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Do vagina's smell?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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