Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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