I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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