Dual....:-)
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
