Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
everyone is single if you try hard enough
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Semen is not good for contacts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
