she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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