i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
