i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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