Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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