The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
