so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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