so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
