Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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