i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My balls are so social today.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
