I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
