I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
