I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
