you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
